Sunday, August 15, 2010
Suddenly got the feeling every living thing around is all against me .
I had no one to turn to .
I am writing this post while crying , stupid me .
Today , nothing much happened during the morning .
In the afternoon after tuition ,i met up with LiuQian at the kfc to study and had lunch together .
Around 6plus , we went took a bus to marina square as LiuQian wanted to shop at Zara so badly but i wanted to study so badly . Reached there at about 7plus .
Went many different shops to look for nicenice clothings .
But all the prices of the clothes ,none of them i could afford .
I realised at that moment , what a loser i am .
Everytime have the money to do so many things .
But when it comes to shopping , i know nothing .
When we were shopping , i kept thinking how ugly i was .
I couldn't afford anything nice at these shops .
It means i cannot wear nice clothes when i go out with baby .
I am such a loser .
While shopping , i message baby that i will webcam with him during the night .
But before i board the bus to go home , MY PHONE DIE ON ME !
This is not the only worse thing ! i even board the wrong side of the bus .
The bus went all the where to somewhere else which i dont know!
Then both of us waited for the next bus .
Reached home about 11.10pm ?
On my computer and the first thing i wanted to do so badly was to online .
I want to talk to my baby and webcam with him !
But instead, when i online , i saw his msn nick was different before i left my house in the afternoon .
I was kinda shocked at first ,but i slowly realise that something was wrong .
Tired talking to him in msn ,but he didn't reply me .
So i gave him a call and the first thing from him was , what ?(mono tone)
Knowing what was wrong and everything .
We quarrelled and eventually , i was angry and moodless to do anything when i am supposed to bathe .
My mummy kept asking me to bathe but the only thing i want to do at that moemnt was to talk to him .
Until finally , don't remember what was it , i just got up and went to bathe .
Going to the bathroom , i called my mummy but she didn't respond .
Went to the back of the house to call her ,in front of me ,still dont want to respond .
So i asked her what's wrong and why is she ignoring me ?
She straight away shut me off by saying that is because i don't listen to her .
FISH .
At that moment , everything seems to be against me .
I went to the batheroom , told myself stop being sad and dont cry .
Stupid to talk to myself , but still end up crying in the bathroom .
Finsh bathing, i went back to my room to continue talking to my baby .
After 2 messages , he didn't reply me anymore .
I was cool at first because i dont always expect him to reply me fast , i am willing to wait .
But again , i find something is a miss .
Decided to give him a call , finding out that he was actually not doing anything .
Don't know why , suddenly ever thing that is in my heart came pouring out .
This made me cried and him angry at himself ...
Sorry ...